Alright, so I started thinking of ideas on what I could write about. It’s been a really long time since I have written a really good blog post. As you can see, I have been posting a lot about health and fitness focused ideas. That’s mostly because my life revolves around my faith, my family, my job, and then health and fitness. And instead of going on and on about my son (who is the cutest thing, bee-tee-dubs), I decided to go a different route and talk about what I’ve learned over the past year on being a decent wife.
Hey, it’s not that serious and I will joke around from time to time but maybe someone will take something away from this post and think, ‘Wow, maybe THAT is what I was missing!’ or you will just think I am crazy which is TOTALLY okay! Either way, this just my idea over the past year on how I have been able to keep my marriage afloat with the things I do.
Your husband needs love just as much as you do.
It’s TRUE. You want all the romantic things to never end. You think about the things he did for you when you were just dating and even when you were engaged and you want them to NEVER go away. Believe it or not, your husband doesn’t want the things you do for him to go away either. On the same token, he’s a man. They are pretty laid back when it comes to this. The things they see as “romantic…” nevermind. They don’t see things as romantic. :P But they do enjoy loving things such as, kisses, hugs, touches. Most men are physical beings. It’s not just about sex here, ladies. Granted, that helps but it’s about being physical and letting him FEEL your love. It’s just as important to him to feel that love as it is for us to hear him say, “I love you.”
Don’t suddenly change who you are.
Okay, this one is a little difficult. I mean, I was pregnant the first year of our marriage. At least for half of our first year. I changed A LOT. My face, my body, my mood…lots of changes. But there are some women out there that think everything will be different if they get married. Like, magically you become this old couple that doesn’t do anything. If you’re anything like my husband and I, we became that old couple LONG before marriage was ever brought into the picture! I know, there are old couples that probably get out of the house way more often than we do, but that’s okay. Either way, don’t expect everything to change just because you have a ring, a marriage certificate, and a husband. You both are still the same people, enjoy that. Things will change over time anyway…especially with kids.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Hmmm, I am pretty sure that’s a book I read in junior high. I should listen to that book more often! Either way, this is very true. If you’re someone like me who experiences anxiety and gets stressed out so easily, this doesn’t always work. But it can. If you are newly married or about to take the deep plunge, many of you may be getting ready to move in together for the first time…ever. And that is going to be a HUGE change for you both. Like I said, I am STILL working on this one but I know it needs to be done. And when I can chillax a little, he’s at ease and things run smoother. For example, I am very picky about where things go. I like to be organized and have a place for things. I walk into the door from work; boots off and put away, keys hung on the key holder by the door, wallet on the shelf by the door, lunchbag unpacked and put away in its proper home. My husband on the other hand…stuff everywhere. That’s really just how men are. Even the more organized ones, they are still pretty spacey when it comes to that kind of thing. Over the past year, I learned that I need to just let it be. If I want to have things put in a certain place, it’s really not that big of a deal for me to just do it myself. He works all day too and the last thing he wants to do is come home to a wife who is going to talk his ear off about the fact that he forgot something (again).
Speaking of being more organized…don’t move his stuff
This isn’t a long one but remember how I said I am really organized? Things need to have a home. You pick something up and you put it back where you got it. That’s my logic. Hubster? Not so much. And it’s okay. But really, don’t move anything unless you are ready to hear the, “Honey? Where are my -_insert object here¬¬¬_?” It’s going to happen. And you are just going to have to deal. I guess, it’s along the same lines of not sweating the small stuff. Your husband is basically going to be lost if he can’t find what he’s looking for. But what you should realize is…he probably just forgot where he put something anyway so if you moved it, it’s not a big deal.
I really am not just trying to insult my husband in this post. But…he’s funny and awesome and these are the things he does. :P
Let him feel useful
This is seriously something I didn’t notice until we were married. We lived together before for about a year before we were married but it wasn’t until we moved into our house that I saw this. He wants to do things around the house. If it’s something that needs to be fixed with a hammer, some nails, his power tools…whatever, he wants to do it. Like, seriously…I know how to do a lot of things around the house but he wants me to let him do it. He’s built me some shelves for the wall in the living room, put together some bookshelves and things for organizing the house, and he’s made some parrallettes (I really don’t know how to spell that, haha) for the gym. He’s painted our son’s nursery (and it turned out beautiful might I add) and he was a perfectionist about it. It’s actually pretty cute. But this is what I mean about letting him feel useful – Like I said, I can do a lot of these things myself. Granted, it may not be as impeccable of work as his would be but I can do it. So, instead of doing things around the house that I know my husband would like to do, I just say, “Hey babe, can you do this for me?” And he’s happy to do it. I mean, sure he helps around the house with the cleaning, dishes (he mainly does the dishes), takes out the trash, etc…but those are things that don’t give him much joy. So although he does the normal chores, he wants to do the “manly” things for me. It’s cute, so why not?
I could go on and on about the things I learned over the past year about how to be a good (decent) wife, but this is a QUICK guide. I hope you all enjoyed this Quick Guide to Being a Good (Okay, Decent) Wife. There are so many other things I can point out…maybe I will have an extended version for you all sometime. ;)